1 day ago
-manages to smile a bit more, though the look is still taxed- I think I… sort of get it. Understand.
You know that I’d do anything for you… don’t you?
-manages to smile a bit more, though the look is still taxed- I think I… sort of get it. Understand.
You know that I’d do anything for you… don’t you?
-catches the sight of her smile, his lips curving softly upwards in response- Happy tears?
[squints one eye] Is that totally inappropriate? I mean, I’m not happy that you’re struggling… It’s just… [sighs, pressing her ever curving lips together] It’s hard to explain.
-pulls away only slightly, concern on his features as he presses his lips to her forehead, still holding her closely, mumbling- I’m s-sorry, love…
[shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut] No, don’t apologise. Please… [opens her eyes and smiles gently at him] They might be happy tears.
-sighs softly, just holding onto her for what, at this point, feels like dear life, not able to specify what the feeling in his stomach is, to pinpoint it as anxiety or nerves or guilt or exhaustion or some combination of them all, but all he knows is that with her, that feels fades slightly, and while she’s right in that he doesn’t know that they need each other as much as they do, he knows she makes him better and fills something in him that, when left empty, could only ever serve to make him bitter and more alone. but she’s here with him now, so he’ll just take the clarity of mind she’s granted him to wonder about her silence, worried he said something to hurt her, mumbling softly- Please say something…
[discreetly exhales as her lips twitch into a small smile, and she whispers in an equally small voice,] If I say something, I might start to cry.
-the closer he holds her, the warmer she feels against his heart that’s been so cold these last weeks, and even if he can’t feel what it’s like to accept what he’s done and what his selfish tendencies have done to the people he loves, including her, he can feel that in her, and it makes him feel weak, pathetic, in a way he’s never felt he’s deserved before, but at the same time he knows he owes it to her to make the only promise he can manage, mumbling as he buries his face in her hair- Bel, I swear, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.
[keeps her arms wrapped tight around him, keeping him close and secure, trying to convey in every way possible that she has him; that no matter how dark his life might ever become or how frightening his past may seem, she will still hold him with the intensity that suggests that there is nobody else in the whole world that she would rather have near her. Because they need each other, and she knows that. She’s not sure if he does, though.]
-looks up at her as she speaks, his eyes widening slightly at her words and he grips her hand tighter, swallowing hard at the end of her story, lifting his other hand to brush the tears off her cheeks, mumbling- Godric, I’m so sorry, love… -sighs and pulls her closer to him, wrapping an arm around her, appreciating her words, but tries to focus on her right now, because he knows that he’s tried and failed everyday to forgive himself-
[really wants to be brave for him, put up the walls that hide her emotions, but she’s just not strong enough to do that now; she hasn’t been for a while. Maybe it’s because she’s rid herself of her callous burden… or perhaps she feels weakened due to the wavering state that her relationship with Isaac is in at the moment, seeing as he is literally the only reason she’s created this new life for herself. He is her entire purpose. And now there’s the prospect that he could disappear at any moment. Even the thought seems to be enough to disorient her entirely.]
Two years ago.
[nods quietly, waiting several minutes before speaking in a small voice.] When I was eleven years old, I killed a man for the first time. The only person I’ve ever killed. It was a part of my training… [doesn’t notice the stray tear that falls down over her cheek] I never knew his name… He might’ve had a job, a family, someone who was waiting for him to come home for supper that night… And I didn’t want to do it, either. But my father made me…. [licks her lips, looking up at a tear-blurred Isaac] I still see his face at night, and it’s been six years. I never forgot about it, and sometimes it got so bad that I felt like I didn’t deserve to live anymore. But then I remembered that people make mistakes. People did things they never meant to do. And they might be horrible… they might be mundane… But they’re mistakes. And you have to forgive yourself for those mistakes, because if you don’t then you won’t survive. [sniffs, finally wiping her tears away, as they’re now coating her cheeks] Isaac, you have so much to live for. You can’t give up. It was an accident, everybody understands that. I forgive you. You have to forgive yourself.
ooc i just messaged the home page but i have absolutely no idea if it sent ..... it didnt say it did but it didnt say it didnt idk....
-swallows hard, building up whatever strength he has left to keep going- So there was… there was just this one time where I’d set fire to this house. Stephen got there. I didn’t want him to stop me, I’d made sure he didn’t know where I was going. But he found out. Bel, I swear, I thought the house was empty, I didn’t know… there was a girl there, inside, and by the time Stephen got there… fuck, it was already coming down. He kept telling me I’d done this, and I had to go in there and save her, but I was… I was too scared. I couldn’t stop him. He went in, and I just… I just fucking stood there. The girl, she got out, but… -shuts his eyes, the guilt flooding his entire being- He was still inside when it collapsed.
When did all this happen…?
